Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Aimee Lee Poirier Curry

Aimee Lee Poirier Curry

August 27, 1977-December 18th, 2012

You were a great friend. The last time I saw you, you were sitting in about the same spot I am now, but my livingroom was rearranged since then.. but I still have the recliner. We were whispering because we were smack talking the men folk in the other room. lol. And the time before that we were having fun sipping those fruity little concoctions at Red Lobster down the road from me, until we were obnoxiously giggly. This is how we were. Always having fun. Hiding under trees during a thunder hail and rain storm pointing at the dorks out on the rocks convinced they were going to catch more fish. I said "we're so soaked we looked like we jumped in the lake!" You said "you wanna jump in the lake?". That was so like you. lol

It happened yesterday. I was going into work like a normal day. When I was getting out of the car I got a text message that said "Aimee died". I froze for a second. I responded "you better mean another Aimee you know and not my Aimee". By time I got in the door and clocked in, I was told, it was my Aimee...... I felt a strange sensation in my chest and arms and heat hit my face.

I quickly walked into the backroom to gasp for air as I was thinking "is this really happening" "Did I read that right?" And then my phone rang to confirm what I was still processing. All I could say was "no". Over and over. Why Aimee? Why did this happen? It's almost Christmas. The kids? I was worried you didn't get your Christmas shopping done.

I had no choice but to stay at work. Sometimes I could laugh at normal things like I always do. And occassionally I'd catch myself tearing up. It didn't seem real.

Harry has been calling. We're glad. He's not okay Aimee. Ashlyn is trying to stay strong too. I don't think your family has yet recovered from losing your mom, and then now this? We invited Harry and the kids over for Christmas. It's up to them. If you have any divine communication and can "say" things to them, tell Harry we really meant it and he can come over. I'll do everything I can to make it feel like Christmas for the kids.

Harry told us what happened, and I saw you, in my mind. I pictured you, just like he said. I felt helpless. That fine line between life and death. It happened so quick. I'm praying you didn't feel a thing and it was peaceful for you. I have so much more I want to say. I say what I want to say to you, to myself when I'm alone in bits and peices. I replay the last few times we saw each other. I look at my furniture and remember what you helped me unpack last time we moved. I went through my old wedding photos to see you in several of them and at rehearsal dinner. The ones of us together weren't flattering for either of us, and they were blurry. I wish we had better photos of us together. I wish we had done your photos like we wanted to when we had the chance. I have a lot of wishes and a lot of what ifs. I have a lot of regrets now too.

And I remember you telling me about your mom, and how much you missed her, and what you were going through with your health and I remember you said to me that you had a bad feeling that you would die young too. And when I remembered that last night, the sobbing started again. Of course when you said that, I told you that wouldnt happen and to be optimistic. We never could have predicted this. But can we ever?

I hope you are with your mom. I do. I hope you ran to each other with arms wide open like a scene from a movie. I hope the guardian angels you believed in are very real and they are at their posts watching over the kids and your siblings and your dad and Harry. I really do. And if its all true, then ask one to come over and visit your friends from time to time too. Because this isn't easy. This is really hard. And it hurts..

Last night after a good long cry induced headache that put me to sleep, I dreamt you were alive and we were walking. Somewhere. I can't remember where we were but we were walking. I dont remember a romantic beach scene or anything like that. It was just a walk. And I told you "they said you died!" and you laughed at me and told me "yea well I'm right here" and your eyes did that crinkle and twinkle they always do and we cracked up, and I said "I feel so much better knowing it was a bad dream and you're okay, that was crazy.". That was the last dream I remember having before I woke up this morning. I wish this were the dream and the dream was the reality.


Wednesday, December 5, 2012

how dare I neglect my precious blog

I apologize to my loyal blog followers who this time last year had something fresh to peek at at least weekly. I've been working a lot and I've had MORE than a lot going on and I just haven't had time. Now that business has slowed for the winter I'll be able to turn more attention back to this, because I do have a lot to share.

I'll have to backtrack here to see which sessions I was able to post here and the ones I forgot. If you would like to keep track of what I post on a regular basis for C.G. Ward Photography, remember you can always find me on facebook and I do most of my work from there.

Mid month you can catch Abby & I doing our annual salvation army bell ringing, same location as we usually do. We look forward to seeing you there. Also remember you can do a red kettle donation online! And please keep an open  mind about your donations. I know some people have recently chosen not to donate to the salvation army because they are a church.... however.... if you are ever in need, if you are hungry or cold, the salvation army will never discriminate against you! If you are in need, you are in need. <3

So I'm off for now, and later this week I have a few things non photography related I'm going to share. Stay tuned.

Happy Holidays!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Photography Magazines.. what do YOU read?

Which photography related magazines do you subscribe to.. and what do you LOVE about them? :) Share here so we can see learn about new magazines we may not have seen yet! My most favorite at the moment is shutterbug :)


Go check out my facebook page at to see the details! I am offering a FREE print in a contest to my most recent clients! Go vote for your favorite!!!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

amazing story of cancer survivor...

I signed into my email to discover a sweet letter from a gal named Heather who has survived mesothelioma for 6 1/2  years! She shared her blog with me that details an incredible story of her journey and I was very touched by her zest for life. Thank you for contacting me Heather to share your story.

Go check out her BLOG guys to read more about her.... very eye opening!


Thursday, August 16, 2012

Dear Abby, I hope you won't hate me for this...

Dear Abby,

First let me say, you are an amazing, smart, witty, sweet, precious little girl, and I love you more than I love anything else. Even more than a warm fresh gooey browny topped with vanilla bean gelato and smuckers hot fudge and frozen whipped cream the week I ovulate.....

But you've been leaving your nice stuff ALL over the house, in the middle of the floor and no matter how many times I point to it and tell you to pick it and you say "ok.. one second".... YOU LEAVE IT THERE ANYWAY! If I step on one more lego so help me God..... so obviously my nagging isn't working... I've got another method. See hunny, I saw this thing going around on facebook and a friend of mine tried it and she says it works wonderfully..... Her kids stopped leaving their stuff on the floor and her house stays nice and clean and there is no yelling or nagging or grounding! I thought you'd like that part! So we're gonna try this...

I made something based on what the picture showed me.... and it's waiting for you when you get back from camping with Gramma & Papa and you've got 5 things in it already..... I'm anxious for you to learn responsibility with the great stuff people buy for you. Let's give it a shot!!

Love, Mommy

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Miscarriage. Lonely grief.

I came upon this blog as it was shared by a friend who understands the grief I have been through. I have lost 2 very wanted planned pregnancies. She makes a wonderful point and helps those who don't understand our pain have a little insight into our hearts. I commend her for her bravery in sharing this.

the blog

Friday, August 3, 2012

the countdown begins

not photography related.

Tomorrow I finally get my love bug back from her 2 week summer visitation with her dad. While I'm glad she gets to spend some time with him, and they went on a trip to Maine and she seems to have had fun, I can honestly say, I do NOT feel like I get a "nice break" while she's gone. Abby is my only child. I have no siblings. And I haven't seen my biological mother since I was 2. Becoming a mom to a little girl has been very therapeutic to my soul and taught me the natural bonds between a  mother and her child. My bond with my little girl is so intense that I feel empty and out of sorts, not quite myself with her gone. I don't like her being gone at all. Some other divorced moms enjoy the time, and I think that's quite alright. Nothing wrong with that at all. But for me personally, it's like severing something vital for me, and I feel off balance. The last two weeks I got a million projects done. Not because my hands were free, honestly Abby is very low maintenance and I could have easily got them done with her here, I just did them to keep myself busy while she was gone to pass the time.

halfway during her visit I picked her up for tea for about 45 minutes to hang out with her and we just sat there in the middle of the blue moon cafe with her on my lap crying because she missed me and wanted to come home. I felt sick bringing her back but I encouraged her to try to enjoy her visit out of state with her dad. When I left she stood on the edge of her grandmothers yard waving me to crying. I put my game face on for her but by time I was passing the neighbors house I was sobbing like a scene from Steel Magnolias. Two weeks was too much time away from each other for both of us. She told me it makes her feel sick to her stomach and she hates it and wants to do things differently next year, and considering visitation is supposed to benefit her, I really hope her dad will consider that and work something out that is easier on her emotions next year.

So what maybe I cleaned out closets and boxes and dresser drawers and under all the beds and dusting and moving photos and sorting through clothes and toys and books for donations etc. So what I cleaned out her fish tank and hand sanded my bedroom furniture and painted it and hung up paper lanterns and cleaned up the yard and re potted small plants outdoors all on top of my day job and 3 sessions and editing and being out of town myself for 2 nights and car repairs. So what. I miss my baby girl and I can't WAIT for her to come back home tomorrow. I feel like its the night before I pick someone up from the airport and I'm bouncing off the walls excited lol.

I feel like the other half of my heart is coming home tomorrow. Maybe because it is. <3


I took this photo while we went for tea in Saranac Lake at the Blue Moon Cafe. She seemed like she grew in only a week. My luck she'll come home tomorrow looking like a teenager lol haha. I shouldn't say things like that LOL <o.O>

Monday, July 30, 2012

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

its after midnight and it means its officially my baby girls birthday!!! I can't believe she's already 9 years old! Oh how time flies. Right now we are temporarily seperated as she is visiting her dad for a couple of weeks..... and we're both having seperation anxiety. We had a short visit and went out for tea a few days ago and it was hard to tear myself away from her when it was over. It just doesn't feel right being away from her. I feel... weird. I've been throwing myself into home improvement projects on top of my day job (I had 2 for a bit there) and my photography which keeps me busy enough this time of year..... just to keep my mind off of missing her! Last night I cleaned her closet and swept her floors and tomorrow I'll clean out her fish tank and finish straightening..... I painted my dresser today (see I wasn't kidding)......

I'm going stir crazy until this kid gets home!! AGH!!!!

I'm hoping tomorrow while its still her birthday I can get her on the phone! She had this idea to get on the phone at night and each go outside and look at the moon together (sigh).... she is so much like me. I miss my little squishy quirky critter. Happy Birthday baby girl. Mommy loves you more than chocolate.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

take time to smell the flowers

Libby did lol.. I got these at the farmers market! SO PRETTY!!
I put them in the front window...... because of the light.. but the front window is also the cats hangout. So after they got their sniffs in and made friends with the flowers they hung out by them. I noticed the flowers matched their necklaces. yes my cats wear jewelry. I made them myself. Because I'm a dork. Libby is the Dilute Calico. Greycie, her sister from the same litter is the big grey kitty. Both girls are snuggle bugs.

Monday, July 16, 2012

play in the rain....

drip drip drip. actually. no. it was more like a downpour! If you were outside, you were going to get wet. Yesterday while walking down the block from her friends house, my kid got soaked while running back home because it came down so quickly. She thought I'd be mad at her. lol. Why do kids think that? I honestly thought it was funny. To prove it I had her go back outside and splash around for me while I shot a few pics with  my phone.

She laughed so hard. I felt like a kid again.

Just a bit ago, and I'm still damp as I type this, again, DOWNPOUR. I saw Abby smirk and look at the window and just as she was about to ask if she could go outside, I jumped up and said "beatcha out there!" She lit up like a christmas tree and we scrambled for the door and started splashing away on our semi flooded one way street! I kicked water on her and she stood there with a shocked smile before she started kicking water back on me. Then her best friend came running down the street in her bathing suit laughing hysterically and we all 3 ran around the house getting poured on, kicking water on eachother, throwing it with our hands and stomping in every puddle we could find. We ran towards the street gutters to catch the deeper puddles and score points. I had to ditch my glasses on the porch because they became more like a foggy moist, droplet drenched blindfold than a visual aid. We took turns standing under a drain pipe that comes off of our roof. I know thats gross. I just didn't care. It was too much fun. Abby was laughing so hard. She was squealing, screeching, you name it. So was I! I felt like a kid again. We played in the rain until it stopped raining. I'm sure my neighbors peeked at me through their windows and are possibly questioning my sanity at the moment. I've been cooped up in this house and at work too long. I'm a mom. I'm about to turn 33. Sometimes you just need to play in the rain. If you think you're too old, or too proper or too mature to play sometimes, then YOU'RE the one with the sanity problem.

For the moment I am back to work. Mostly dry. And my kid and her friends think I am the coolest mom on the block. ;)

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

I've been neglecting this

life has been throwing a lot of curve balls at me lately..... I've been so busy I haven't had much time to tend to this. But that means when I get the time I'll have a lot of stuff to post. I've had some great photo sessions. I've started a new part time job. I've made some new friends. Did a few more paintings. Did some sight seeing in my local area at places I don't normally visit. That reminds.. I have photos to load from the Thousand Islands from Heart Island and Boldt Castle. I can't believe I went there over a week ago and I haven't even taken my photos off my memory card yet! I wasn't kidding when I said busy y'all. lol.

Let me share a few shots from some of my recent family sessions :)

^^ recognize those guys from last year? we duplicated the same shot ;)

Monday, June 18, 2012

been busy

been way too busy to blog about everything I've had going on lately... so take a hop over to to see what I've been up to!

Thursday, May 17, 2012


this is a photo of Abby jumping off the porch this last winter.... I saw this amazing quote online and had to share.... :) nobody seems to know who said it! I wish I did! It's so appropriate for todays youtube/facebook/twitter generation :)

Saturday, May 12, 2012

new CD look!

Your photo disc just got fancier! ;) No more ugly handwritten CDS from me ;)

right around the corner.....

A short walk from my house.... is all of this ;)

And spring is almost summer!

*waves* I'm still around...... I apologize for neglecting my blog. I've been doing most of my posting on facebook lately. I wish I could say I've been dormant..... that would insinuate a lot of relaxation and sleep...... can't claim either right now lol.

I had the pleasure of doing a beautiful maternity session in Crandall Park and a family session at Hovey Pond Park and a newborn session... but she's waiting for the rest of her family to get to meet her before we debut her online ;) Tomorrow I'll be going to Congress Park in Saratoga with my own little Abigail for some updated portraits. I'm pretty sure this is my last chance to get some pictures of her while she is still... a "little" kid. She's been growing like a weed and she's already up to my chin.... her face is getting taller.... and she's slowly filling out :( So I got her a girly dress and I want to coax her into posing for  me for a park session. I'm sure I'll have to bribe her with ice cream. It'll be worth it. lol. Her vocabulary has been rather boggling lately..... she's been reading a lot....I was amused at her reference to nasal spray as a "medieval torturing device" last week. She's 8. I'm doomed.

changing subject.

I've decided my collage frames here in my livingroom are outdated. Not just the pictures inside.. but the whole collage thing. It's a cluttered look for me. I'm taking the photos out and adding them to my scrap books and going to have 16"x20" prints of Abigail printed out to put in the frames...... I've done a couple more paintings and I even painted an antique window frame I salvaged from a neighbor. I painted bluebonnets on that one. I miss the bluebonnets in Texas. So now I'll have a little of Tejas here in my livingroom when its dry enough to hang. As you may know, oil takes awhile to dry.

I've also gone back to work part time during the week. Of course as soon as I took this job I started getting summer appts booked, but it seems I'll have a steady schedule at work, so I can still manage my photo appt schedule. If you've already booked with me, don't fret, I've checked my calendar and every date is set on a date I shouldn't be working. I'll make sure I can accomodate everyone. It always works out. I'll be over in the outlets in Lake George during the week and I'm pretty excited about it. I've had a burst of energy lately. All that working out at the Y is paying off lol.

Well... now that I've yapped into cyber space... I'll share a few of the photos from my most recent sessions..... TTFN!