Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Aimee Lee Poirier Curry

Aimee Lee Poirier Curry

August 27, 1977-December 18th, 2012

You were a great friend. The last time I saw you, you were sitting in about the same spot I am now, but my livingroom was rearranged since then.. but I still have the recliner. We were whispering because we were smack talking the men folk in the other room. lol. And the time before that we were having fun sipping those fruity little concoctions at Red Lobster down the road from me, until we were obnoxiously giggly. This is how we were. Always having fun. Hiding under trees during a thunder hail and rain storm pointing at the dorks out on the rocks convinced they were going to catch more fish. I said "we're so soaked we looked like we jumped in the lake!" You said "you wanna jump in the lake?". That was so like you. lol

It happened yesterday. I was going into work like a normal day. When I was getting out of the car I got a text message that said "Aimee died". I froze for a second. I responded "you better mean another Aimee you know and not my Aimee". By time I got in the door and clocked in, I was told, it was my Aimee...... I felt a strange sensation in my chest and arms and heat hit my face.

I quickly walked into the backroom to gasp for air as I was thinking "is this really happening" "Did I read that right?" And then my phone rang to confirm what I was still processing. All I could say was "no". Over and over. Why Aimee? Why did this happen? It's almost Christmas. The kids? I was worried you didn't get your Christmas shopping done.

I had no choice but to stay at work. Sometimes I could laugh at normal things like I always do. And occassionally I'd catch myself tearing up. It didn't seem real.

Harry has been calling. We're glad. He's not okay Aimee. Ashlyn is trying to stay strong too. I don't think your family has yet recovered from losing your mom, and then now this? We invited Harry and the kids over for Christmas. It's up to them. If you have any divine communication and can "say" things to them, tell Harry we really meant it and he can come over. I'll do everything I can to make it feel like Christmas for the kids.

Harry told us what happened, and I saw you, in my mind. I pictured you, just like he said. I felt helpless. That fine line between life and death. It happened so quick. I'm praying you didn't feel a thing and it was peaceful for you. I have so much more I want to say. I say what I want to say to you, to myself when I'm alone in bits and peices. I replay the last few times we saw each other. I look at my furniture and remember what you helped me unpack last time we moved. I went through my old wedding photos to see you in several of them and at rehearsal dinner. The ones of us together weren't flattering for either of us, and they were blurry. I wish we had better photos of us together. I wish we had done your photos like we wanted to when we had the chance. I have a lot of wishes and a lot of what ifs. I have a lot of regrets now too.

And I remember you telling me about your mom, and how much you missed her, and what you were going through with your health and I remember you said to me that you had a bad feeling that you would die young too. And when I remembered that last night, the sobbing started again. Of course when you said that, I told you that wouldnt happen and to be optimistic. We never could have predicted this. But can we ever?

I hope you are with your mom. I do. I hope you ran to each other with arms wide open like a scene from a movie. I hope the guardian angels you believed in are very real and they are at their posts watching over the kids and your siblings and your dad and Harry. I really do. And if its all true, then ask one to come over and visit your friends from time to time too. Because this isn't easy. This is really hard. And it hurts..

Last night after a good long cry induced headache that put me to sleep, I dreamt you were alive and we were walking. Somewhere. I can't remember where we were but we were walking. I dont remember a romantic beach scene or anything like that. It was just a walk. And I told you "they said you died!" and you laughed at me and told me "yea well I'm right here" and your eyes did that crinkle and twinkle they always do and we cracked up, and I said "I feel so much better knowing it was a bad dream and you're okay, that was crazy.". That was the last dream I remember having before I woke up this morning. I wish this were the dream and the dream was the reality.


No comments:

Post a Comment