I loved being pregnant with Abigail. I was very content with my hands on my swollen belly feeling her move and kick around as if we were already together even though I couldn't see her. When she was born, I felt like I truly started living. My entire life has revolved around her since she was born and I don't regret a minute of it. I finally began to understand things my father had always said to me about how I broke his heart without even meaning to. The first time I heard the words "I got it mommy it's ok, I don't need your help anymore",...... I clenched my jaw and fought back the tears and allowed myself a bitter sweet smile. I was glad she was learning from me, but sad at the same time to watch each phase of her young childhood years come to an end. I miss when she was a newborn and I would nurse her to sleep while I petted her back and kissed her little forehead. I miss when she was 1 and she said "mama... I yuva yew!" (I love you )... I miss the time when she was 2 and she toddled off to play from cuddle time and exclaimed "I love you mommy! and chicken nuggets!". I miss when she was 3 and we were in the mall and she said "mommy i just like to hold your hand, it feels nice". I miss when she was 4 and she was "taking care" of me because I had a headache. She got me an ice pack and "petted" my head like I was the baby lol. I miss when she was 5 and she said "mommy, did you know that you're my bestest friend?" (but she was very serious like it was important to her that I knew). I miss when she was 6 and she got frustrated and first said "dude!" (I laughed so hard because thats my expression lol) I miss this last year watching all the changes she's gone through turning from a little girl into a young lady..... and now.... she's turning 8..... I anxiously anticipate what this next year will bring. I'm excited and a little scared....
I'm amazed at how quickly she learns things that I never expected her to understand. Very proud of her compassion for others. Her ability to forgive (I could take a good lesson from her in that). I adore her sense of humor as it evolves with her growing wit. I'm very grateful for the way she loves me for being the silly, quirky, emotional person that I am. She's the honey to my tea!
I wonder what she'll be when she is all grown up. Not that I want her grow up, I'm no where near ready for that, but I can't help but wonder who she'll be someday..... I hope she has more than I do by time she's my age, I hope she's seen more of the world, and I hope she's not afraid to reach for the stars like I used to be.....
This year the night before her birthday she is nearly up to my shoulder in height. She has recently ditched her former tomboy wardrobe for a more grown up feminine version of herself. She likes to spend her afternoons riding her bike and her evenings with her nose in a good book. I look at that little girl and I see myself 23 years ago.... just with a different hair and eye color lol.
My parents came down last night and spent the night with us and we had a little party for her, so we already did presents and cake and ice cream, so I have a picture of my ever growing girl to share already.
I love you Abby girl! Happy Birthday Baby!
P.S. I love YOU ... and chicken nuggets!