tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post3985972247221990357..comments2023-07-10T08:38:17.540-07:00Comments on C.G. Ward Photography: Regarding the facebook "Breast Cancer Awareness Games"C.G. Ward Photographyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07855950731714711361noreply@blogger.comBlogger293125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-63127657106677006772011-09-04T07:36:56.761-07:002011-09-04T07:36:56.761-07:00Amen! I agree completely and couldn't have sai...Amen! I agree completely and couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you for being frank and willing to write about this disgusting display of "awareness."Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17634322113723323038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-17843076722743918632011-09-04T06:07:14.482-07:002011-09-04T06:07:14.482-07:00Seriously this was for breast cancer? Someone sent...Seriously this was for breast cancer? Someone sent it to me and it did not say that. I thought it was so stupid. My grandma and Gma in law are survivors and this does not bring awareness. Everyone should donate to the susan g. Komen foundation instead.sewoenohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14394217398249644338noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-6262740452423622772011-09-04T05:18:37.271-07:002011-09-04T05:18:37.271-07:00This is a bit of a sideline, but - don't mind ...This is a bit of a sideline, but - don't mind all those 'helpful' people who comment on your grammar and writing style. I'm a college lecturer, and teach writing, and the first thing I tell my students is that the use of the written word is primarily for clear self-expression, so that others will understand your point of view. You obviously have accomplished that, so never mind the pedantic ones. Excellent post, with lots to think about, and great comments on the nature of social networking and some of its hidden ramifications.Sherra Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07076518008608818149noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-15255121007663219202011-09-04T02:24:01.613-07:002011-09-04T02:24:01.613-07:00I found out 3 weeks ago at what was supposed to be...I found out 3 weeks ago at what was supposed to be my 12 week checkup that my babys heart had stopped beating at 8 weeks. I was scheduled for a D&C three days later. I saw this "game" the first time two days after surgery...all I could think was 'gee everyone but me'. Then I saw several more posts and couldn't wrap my mind around what I was seeing. After finding out it was a game for breast cancer I just didn't understand how that related. Thankfully no one was dumb enough to send me anything in my in-box. Thank you for putting your thoughts down so eloquently. I have linked this to my FB for all to see!mryjnfaeriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02178694825407876859noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-37375237912556492462011-09-04T01:28:05.338-07:002011-09-04T01:28:05.338-07:00Well done, and well said.
My best friend is now...Well done, and well said.<br /> <br />My best friend is now infertile as a result of being treated for breast cancer. She always hoped that maybe she would have another child, but now she knows that will never happen. She loves her son to bits (he's now 18), but knowing he'll never have a little brother or sister was heartbreaking for her. <br /><br />I thought this "game" was ill-thought out and insensitive when it first appeared in my news feed. I haven't joined in with any of these since the bra colour which made some kind of sense to me at the time. And you're completely right about it doing absolutely nothing, nichts, nada to raise awareness. <br /><br />Love and hugs to you, and thank you for this post.Lily the Pinkhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07008253395591654087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-91002790099785879972011-09-04T01:12:52.498-07:002011-09-04T01:12:52.498-07:00My heart goes out to you and Im really sorry you c...My heart goes out to you and Im really sorry you can not have chilren. I can not imagin having to go though somthing as hard as that and my prayers go out to you. I do agree the facebook game has its flaws, like you should put that it's in awareness of brest cancer and should not hide it form the guys and should have a link to donate to a brest cancer sight. HOWEVER I dont see any harm in posting it. To be honest the first time I saw the post I DID NOT think my friend was pregnate, because I knew her well enough. I honestly thought she was craving gummy bears for 16 weeks and just couldnt get ride of the craving. The statues in NO WAY makes or pokes fun at infertal people. The Mom you were talking about should of been smart enough to know her daughter was not pregnate because any good daughter would call up her parents and siblings and Best friends and tell them that they were pregnet before posting it on facebook. I feel like its hard to do or say anything now adays because people will take offence to anything. I can say I hate the color Purple and i garenttee you someone somewher will take offence to it. I am fat and dyslesic and a Mormon. But I do not take offence when people call me fat or dumb Or say Mormons are wired or evil or not Christen. Because I choose not to. Im not trying to be offensive or insesitive to you. Again my heart and prayers goes out to you and anyone in that situation. I do fear taht I will not be able to ahve children of my own for two reason, one beacue I fear I might just not be able to, and two because guys are not intrested in me so I feel like I might not ever get married. And I did not take offence. I think its all in the way you look at it and your attitued in it. I do think the game at least gets people thinking about it, because the e mail does get past around saying it is in awarness of breast cancer and the a lot of grils do tell the guys in in awarness, I do. So it does get people thinking about it, and any action starts with a thought. Again I do agree that it could be done better, but I do not agree that people should stop playing.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11507271329470955756noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-57404737095860274772011-09-04T00:33:37.411-07:002011-09-04T00:33:37.411-07:00I work with an adoption agency and I see the pain ...I work with an adoption agency and I see the pain of infertile couples all the time. It is a subject to which most people are not nearly sensitive enough: it's so often just ignored.<br /><br />I would like to bring up a thought that no one has addressed:<br /><br />I am single, 28, and a waiting-till-marriage virgin. I had the same reaction (instant tears) to the facebook game, but obviously not for the same reason as all of you. <br /><br />When I read the first status and thought my (happily married) friend was pregnant, I (shamefully) dissolved into tears of jealousy. I dream EVERY DAY of being able to count the number of my family as "2," much less some fantastic and fabulous number like "3!" And that is what I guess I'd like to point out. <br /><br />In fact, reading 279 posts of happy couples trying to take the next step in family life nearly brought me to tears again. <br /><br />I don't pretend that my problems make yours in any way less; please don't dismiss my post as simply trying to one-up you with "I have it worse story." But I DO humbly suggest that the next time you are disappointed by the lack of the pink plus sign that you take comfort in the fact that you have someone's arms to fall right back into; someone's heart who shares your dreams and someone who loves you (and desires you!) enough to keep on trying together right there with you, and whose love for you is no less no matter what.<br /><br />I can tell you with FULL CERTAINTY (and a self-deprecating smile) that NO ONE ON THIS WHOLE EARTH cares ONE LITTLE BIT when I get MY period :)<br /><br />Blessings and peace as you pursue your dreamsAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-57894896048881098312011-09-04T00:16:23.538-07:002011-09-04T00:16:23.538-07:00The funny thing is that I resisted this game at fi...The funny thing is that I resisted this game at first, but felt guilty that I wasn't playing it because I wasn't promoting breast cancer. So, I finally did it and only sent the email to my two friends who wondered what it was all about. I don't think anyone actually thought I was pregnant as I just had a baby. I have two sisters who have both been struggling to have a baby for the last two years and I myself had a miscarriage a year and a half ago. It was very difficult. I never even thought about it hurting those who were suffering from infertility and I have since deleted my post.Stephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14260925338324551569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-65588404442454701662011-09-04T00:01:25.334-07:002011-09-04T00:01:25.334-07:00I completely and totally agree with you. It is hor...I completely and totally agree with you. It is horrible and heartless. I have a 13 year old son who was my miracle. He happened the very first time that he and his father had gotten together when I was 20. I call him my miracle because I had been raped when I was 15 and lost a baby. Since he was born I have lost 8 more babies and this year in January I lost my uterus and tubes. I have had “friends” who know this about me who have sent me the requests to participate and who have been doing this game. Friends who have 2, 3, 4 or more kids….People who I have been genuinely happy for. People who I have held and who I have cried with when they found out that they were pregnant and did not want to be. Who I have cried my self to sleep over making baby blankets for but have done so out of the love in my heart and the selfless knowing that even though I could not bring another life into this world, that there was going to be a new light and life to shine within this world. When you lose a child it never leaves you. You will always love that child and you will never forget them. A new child does not take that place, but it gives you another chance. I wish this for you more than anything.<br /> <br />Love, Light and Healing,<br /> <br />Lucky Star<br /> http://www.victimnomore.wordpress.comAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-38632115285331344832011-09-03T23:45:06.688-07:002011-09-03T23:45:06.688-07:00Thank you for speaking up for all of us. When I re...Thank you for speaking up for all of us. When I received the first invite on facebook to take part in this game I simply ignored it and moved on from it. But after the 5th- 6th time I was done with it and spoke up about it to everyone on my friends list. You see I just lost my son in June. So for people to ask of me to participate in this was hurtful to me. How would I go and post a fake pregnancy when I just lost my son! Ive been blessed to have my now 3 year old daughter but before her I had two late term miscarriages, one at 16 weeks and the 2nd at 19 weeks. My son was only 3 months old when he passed away in the NICU. Carrying a pregnancy for me is not easy as I have an incompetent cervix and after my son was born have been advised from many doctors that attempting anymore pregnancies in the future will be placing my life in danger due to other reasons that I now suffer from. So you see not only did this "game" hurt those with infertility issues but has also hurt moms who are in mourning.Susanahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00300303819966658860noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-60296612914636017372011-09-03T22:51:01.765-07:002011-09-03T22:51:01.765-07:00Before I got the email with the game, I saw my you...Before I got the email with the game, I saw my young, unmarried niece's post about being 12 weeks...she'd just met someone she thought was her soul mate, had broken up recently and was now back together. It was entirely possible for her to be pregnant and I was sick about it. My hubby and I can't have children...tried for many years, including two rounds of in vitro that ended in miscarriage. I do pretty well handling pregnancy news from people, most of the time, but my unmarried niece? It made me so sad...and then there is the wonder, in the back of my head, if she decides to give up the child, we would certainly be willing. Only those who know the loss of infertility can know the small bit of hope/desperation that leads to thoughts like "she'll have to consider giving up the child, we'd be the obvious choice"....<br />All I could do, in my confused and sad state was to post a comment questioning this kind of status update. She didn't respond. The next day I was so freaky in the head, I finally sent a text to my sister asking her what it was all about. She told me about the game. I told her that for people in my particular situation, it was pretty terrible to post things like that on facebook. She responded that it was to raise awareness, so it was working if it got people all up in arms. Really? I couldn't respond to it, because I happen to disagree with her and agree with you down to the letter. <br />Not only am I infertile, I also have 4 aunts who've had breast cancer, only one is still living. I raise awareness by supporting fundraising for the Susan Komen foundation, I support saving the ta-ta's and wearing "I heart boobies" wrist bands. There are so many ways we can be aware, without being hurtful. Thank you so much for putting your two cents about this game out there, the voice of so many people...THANK YOU!Share :)https://www.blogger.com/profile/09019606964759747168noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-53764314415744290772011-09-03T22:27:56.510-07:002011-09-03T22:27:56.510-07:00I am a divorced mother of two children, my first r...I am a divorced mother of two children, my first reaction to the whole "game" was that I did not want to participate because it is tasteless to pretend to be pregnant when you are not. I have not suffered the horrors of infertility, but I have lost 3 babies early in pregnancy and I know that terrible grief and feeling of inadequacy as a woman that brings.<br /><br />I am deeply sorry for the insensitivity that people who have never been in your shoes show you. It is so easy to think that one has the answers and to think that someone else's life, when viewed from the outside, is so easy. I appreciate the strength that you have had to bravely post these on your blog and help to educate those who are willing to listen. Those who are not willing to listen are just mean and selfish and I guess one day they might get a big slap of karma across the face to wake them up. I have to admit to not considering how this kind of game would strike the many people who suffer in silence with empty arms. Thank you for opening my eyes and my heart and increasing my awareness of the pain that is so easy to inadvertently cause to another.<br /><br />I send you best wishes, thanks, and hugs.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-4319457158925531612011-09-03T21:42:49.264-07:002011-09-03T21:42:49.264-07:00I've been very lucky. No one in my family has...I've been very lucky. No one in my family has suffered any of the hardships that you have gone through. We've all had (relatively) easy pregnancies, healthy babies, and wonderful children. What I loved about your post wasn't that you were telling the story that I (or those I love) have lived. It was that you really care about showing people how their carelessness and self-involvement hurts others. Too often, people distance themselves from the consequences of their own actions. We've developed a real problem these days with apathy and the belief that whatever is done is "really no big deal." Thank you for the post, the passion, and the reminder that the things we say and do really do affect others-and that matters.Christopher Darlinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09501185247458750431noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-34809629551659094912011-09-03T21:32:40.222-07:002011-09-03T21:32:40.222-07:006 years into this infertility journey... brought h...6 years into this infertility journey... brought home a precious son from Ethiopia 7 months ago... and thought I was past being hurt by pregnancy announcements. I opened facebook last week to see "announcement" after "announcement" and I nearly broke down. It took me a minute to realize it was a stupid game... and then I was sickened. Of course, like you, I know that none of these women meant anything by it so I'm not mad at them at all... but I would like to thank you for sharing this post. :)Laurenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13481930991215306755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-25383695307239270622011-09-03T21:23:38.099-07:002011-09-03T21:23:38.099-07:00Thank you. I've made posts like yours 3 years ...Thank you. I've made posts like yours 3 years in a row now, since I'd first heard about these "games". <br />My father had breast cancer, I've known since I was 12 that men could get breast cancer too. That the people playing these "games" aren't supposed to tell the men what it means makes me livid.<br />My dad put off having his lump checked for several months, then ended up with a full left mastectomy, it still managed to spread and a few years later made it to his liver and killed him. <br /><br />1 in every 100 cases of breast cancer is a man, the rate might actually be higher though because so many put off getting checked out until it has spread elsewhere. Blocking men from knowing what is going on is in NO WAY raising awareness.<br />*HUG*Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-25434060963546136732011-09-03T21:17:50.405-07:002011-09-03T21:17:50.405-07:00Two simple words...thank you.
At 28, I battled in...Two simple words...thank you.<br /><br />At 28, I battled infertility. My miracle son was 9 months old when I found my lump. It wasn't a clogged milk duct, it was breast cancer. I had surgery, 6 months of aggressive chemotherapy, and 7 weeks of daily radiation. In between chemo and radiation my mother-in-law was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer. A mere three months after I completed treatment, the scan showed my cancer was back and has spread to my bones. A couple months later I learned my husband was leading a double life and infidelity tore apart my marriage. My mother-in-law passed as the divorce waged on. I was left with my reality…a 34 year young divorced single mom (of the most amazing 4 year old!!) with Stage IV cancer. And as you probably know, there is no Stage V…so I consider myself to be in Stage THRIVE.<br /><br />Sadly, I'm not alone...I have many young friends in Stage Thrive. Our hearts break when we think about our children growing up without us. We cry over being robbed of our fertility. We mourn every time a treatment stops working and the cancer is "winning". We grieve at the loss of a close friend; and wonder, "why her...and why not me?" We struggle to balance our lives while burdened with treatment. <br /><br />But...and, yes, there needs to be a but...but I am in love with every moment we have in life. The statistics of Stage IV breast cancer are grim...average life expectancy is 26 months. For me, that would have been December 2010. But, I'm not a statistic.<br /><br />Thank you...from someone who has been on both sides. You are an incredible writer...keep it up!<br /><br />ps--love your play list!Jen Smithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05947901703526507271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-82680558091180491892011-09-03T21:09:59.139-07:002011-09-03T21:09:59.139-07:00AMAZING POST! I have struggled with infertility to...AMAZING POST! I have struggled with infertility too and it is a very sensitive subject. I know a lot of women in this same boat! I can't believe anyone would give you constructive criticism. Good for you for writing this post!SW Portraitshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13150578164416659489noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-36689785977098322742011-09-03T21:01:58.972-07:002011-09-03T21:01:58.972-07:00Wow. Thank you. As a teacher whose childhood dre...Wow. Thank you. As a teacher whose childhood dream was to become a mom and is infertile, it almost felt good in a sense to know that someone else found offense to this game. I was feeling like that maybe I was being selfish for not wanting to participate. Thank you for reassuring me that it was okay.Christahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06437348339629722011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-15838138458439753742011-09-03T20:22:27.841-07:002011-09-03T20:22:27.841-07:00Personally, I never play games like these, and I n...Personally, I never play games like these, and I never forward those annoying emails, either. I'm not very big on chain games, and I don't see how they do anything except annoy people and spam inboxes anyway. I agree that if you want to raise awareness for something, then come right out and say it! Do something more productive, like the many Awareness Walks that happen each year, or any of the suggestions you laid out in your blog. More will definitely get done, and no one's sensitivities are hurt.Zooba Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04188791756311913842noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-13779469171714627472011-09-03T18:26:12.604-07:002011-09-03T18:26:12.604-07:00I played this STUPID game, and as a person who is ...I played this STUPID game, and as a person who is also suffering from secondary infertility(TTC for 1.5 yrs now and 4 MCs)- I Didn't think. When a few people immediately responded excitedly, my heart broke. I had to delete it and write each person to apologize for doing it. I was SICK and couldn't sleep that night. I guess you don't always realize how your own heartbreak affects your family and friends as well... I still feel like such a jerk. I'm so sorry for all of those hurting because of infertility...S17911https://www.blogger.com/profile/03714578658444334408noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-2341983040624002402011-09-02T17:16:45.207-07:002011-09-02T17:16:45.207-07:00This was probably one of the most well-written blo...This was probably one of the most well-written blogs I have read in a long time. As I sit at my computer, I am miscarrying my fourth child after 7 years of infertility and I, like so many others, find NO humor or relation to breast cancer what-so-ever in these "games". <br /><br />My best friend is a breast cancer survivor and she was just as disgusted with this game as I was. She even posted on her own facebook wall..."if you REALLY want to spread breast cancer awareness...try this" and then posted a link to a breast cancer site offering free mammograms and links to places where you can donate. <br /><br />I think it is incredibly unfair to family members that don't know that this is a "game" as well as to men who are breast cancer victims. Where is their voice in this? I think it is about time society realize that this disease isn't just affecting women and open the doors for men to speak out without being ashamed or embarrassed. <br /><br />Thank you for writing this amazing blog, for being bold enough to deal with the nay-sayers and for speaking out and for the infertile/pregnancy loss community. <br /><br /><3 NicholeNicholehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01897510280288314268noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-90467336152037357112011-09-02T17:09:36.578-07:002011-09-02T17:09:36.578-07:00Very well written. Thank you for sharing your stor...Very well written. Thank you for sharing your story and your heartache. So many keep fertility a secret and suffer in silence. And that's a shame, it seems more common than most think. I have too many friends with fertility issues to participate in this game. I thought it was insensitive and unrelated to breast cancer.Christyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17509180481972326768noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-21652649331919189932011-09-02T17:07:29.204-07:002011-09-02T17:07:29.204-07:00I agree 100% percent with everything you said. My...I agree 100% percent with everything you said. My grandmother is a breast cancer survivor and I found it to be offensive. This fb game did nothing to raise awareness.<br /><br />I also suffered infertility, but was able to conceive my daughter after taking fertility drugs. Despite the fact that I have two children now, I still get twinges when I see people post about being pregnant, especially when it is in jest. It's just not funny.<br /><br />Great Blog!Stephhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16801126780727673685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-80617799370125728842011-09-02T17:06:18.561-07:002011-09-02T17:06:18.561-07:00Thank you so much for your post. I recently found ...Thank you so much for your post. I recently found out I can't have any more children and this game isn't making it any easier to cope. My aunt, who died of breast cancer last year, probably would have rolled her eyes at it. Lets get the word out a better way!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7819768377008155105.post-3141370641214337102011-09-02T16:53:11.635-07:002011-09-02T16:53:11.635-07:00Very, very well said! I had seen the silly postin...Very, very well said! I had seen the silly postings but never put the two together as the person I saw post it was well in her sixties and I was just left thinking this is something dumb! I am so very sorry for this trial in your life and I am sure I will think of you whenever this subject or the subject of infertility comes up and when I do, I will lift you up in prayer. You did such a good job making us understand the pain you and other women like you feel. Thank you for making me more compassionate.Normhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06991098165224067293noreply@blogger.com